Day 18 of the job search

This is the kind of day I've already had too many times, and the kind that will probably keep coming for a lot longer than I'd like. Today I woke up and realized I still didn't have a job, so I spent 2 hours submitting resumes to jobs I'm not qualifed for in cities that only sometimes include Nashville. At the end, I felt worse than when I started.

How can I simultaneously be living the greatest and worst times of my life? I love being married and living with Luke. I love waiting for him to come home every day and dreaming up the next thing we can do together. But I spend every day alone, looking for jobs and feeling pretty worthless. Some days, like yesterday, are busy and I don't think about what's going on. But the rest of the time I am forced to focus on my unemployment and how limited my prospects seem to be. Sometimes I think I should go down the street and apply at Starbucks, but common sense gets the better of me and I remember I have a master's degree and I want a job as a nurse practitioner.

I'm reading Abba's Child for the 3rd time. I think I've scribbled notes and underlines on every single page. Sometimes I get frustrated because I'm still fighting the same battles I fought when I was 16 and I first read that book. But then I see comments I've written or dates next to certain passages, and I know who I was then and what I was experiencing, and I am thankful that I'm not that person anymore.

This week I found Jeremiah 31:16:
"This is what the LORD says: 'Restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears, for your work will be rewarded,' declares the LORD."

This promise has become my daily prayer.